After multiple seasons of NFL, NBA and MLB I’ve learnt a few things. I now know I can get really mad about a guy I don’t know failing to catch a ball, I also know I can demolish a large bag of crisps without even noticing and I come out with the weirdest insults towards players. There’s a large chunk of things that being an avid sports fan has taught me and I figured it’s about time I share these lessons with you. I may have written this after 10 hours of sports so if they start to sound a little odd bear in mind the only thing my brain can focus on is a ball.
1. If you don't say "we" or "us" when you're referring to your team you're doing it wrong. Even if you're a million miles away, it's always we!
2. Losses hurt, multiple losses hurt even more and being at the bottom of your division is just torturous.
3. You'll need a lot of money to be a fan. Tickets, merchandise and an atrocious amount of food all adds up.
4. You'll always know better than the coaches. In fact, the team you're supporting should really hire you.
5. Offseasons will leave you crying in the corner and watching games from the 80s.
6. Your neighbours will think you and your partner have a volatile relationship with the amount of screaming at the TV you do.
7. There will always be that one player you want to slap with a wet fish.
8. If you haven't fallen out with your friends at least once during a game they're no friends of yours.
9. The morning after a loss is worse than any hangover. Unfortunately it's not a good enough to reason to get out of school/work/dog-sitting.
10. Games that go into overtime will leave you hugging a bucket out of sheer fear.
So that’s my 10 lessons. Worryingly I’m finishing this post with the Carolina at Tampa Bay NFL game on, here’s to 6 more hours of football and many more bags of crisps.
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